As I think I’ve established to the satisfaction of a working majority, I am a being of the male persuasion.

As such, my reaction to the prospect of a trip to a well-known Swedish furniture warehouse is roughly akin to that of a four-legged friend who gets early warning of a trip to the vets to get his tackle trimmed.

A certain understandable reluctance and a grim feeling of foreboding, to be sure – it’s not just the experience itself, it’s the flatpack assembly horror that could well follow. All best avoided, if you ask me.

We have a sufficient stock of tealights to see us through a month-long blackout, I have no use for a pocket full of miniature pencils and the meatballs are, to put it bluntly, a manky mouthful I’m happy to avoid.

But I’m a live and let live sort of guy, and as far as I am concerned if they stay out of my way I’m happy to return the courtesy.

The purveyors of Billy bookcases and Skanka saucepans have been foisting upon us their daft product names and circle of hell store layouts for 25 years and more, and we’ve put up with it.

But at least they never tried to pick us up on our pronunciation – until now.

When Ikea arrived on our shores, we all looked at the name and came to a consensus – that’s Eye-key-ah, that is, and that’s what we’ll call it.

None of the sneaky Swedish sorts who were insidiously infiltrating their blue and yellow sheds onto these shores was minded to pick us up on it – they were just interested in getting a foothold and marching on.

Now they reckon they’re a national institution, and apparently it’s all changed.

According to the firm’s latest TV campaign, we’ve been getting it wrong for a quarter of a century and now they’re going to put us right.

Not in a direct way, of course, that’s not their style – but just by saying it how they say it back home in Stockholm. Again, and again, and again, until we learn.

When the new way to say the name caused my ears to prick up, I checked it out – and apparently if you’re in Gothenburg or Malmo it’s not Eye-key-ah but Icky-er. And they seem to be suggesting that it’s time for us all to fall in line.

Really? I realise this type of global branding realignment is commonplace – Marathon became Snickers, Jif became Cif, Oil Of Ulay turned into Oil Of Olay for reasons I still don’t understand.

But a change of name can make economic sense for a global brand – a change of pronunciation serves no purpose, particularly when it’s a backward step.

Don’t they realise that if something is icky it’s not very nice, and naturally if it’s ickier it’s even worse?

But as far as those meatballs are concerned, they’ve got it spot on, as any sensible snacker will agree.

Berkhamsted Golf Club has appointed the first female golf professional in its 125-year history.

The club also believes that, at just 18 years old, Zara Houchin is the youngest female professional in Hertfordshire.

Zara joined the Golf Academy at the club in July 2013 and is now the principle coach for juniors under the Junior Golf Passport scheme.

However, she has recently started developing coaching sessions for ladies both individually and in groups of four to six for both members and non-members.

Zara said: “I think it’s sometimes easier for women to relax and enjoy lessons more when they are being coached by another woman.

“The group lessons I’ve taken to date have been fun as well as instructive which makes the messages more memorable.”

For further information on lessons with Zara, contact her on 01442 865832 or watch a lesson {http://www.berkhamstedgolfclub.co.uk/membership/ladies_group_lessons_2|online by clicking here.}

Tring Athletic earned a 4-2 win at Hillingdon Borough on Tuesday night in their penultimate SSML Premier Division match of the season.

Tring broke the deadlock after 12 minutes, but Hillingdon levelled on the stroke of half-time.

It was the hosts who struck first in the second half, before Stewart King was brought down in the area and slammed home the resulting penalty to restore parity for Athletic.

Tring pressed for the winner, and duly secured the points with a second goal from Vardy and a late effort from substitute Martin Skinner.

Tring’s season got off to a top start despite the pouring rain, with a nail-biting win over Chess Vale.

The match went down to the final rink, with Tring coming out on top by 69 shots to 64 – top rink going to Nancy Powell, Dave Dickinson and Pete Stafford.

The match against Scot Sports was a more one-sided affair; Tring having a comfortable 87-66 win as top rink went to Jacqueline Veasey, Gill Cartland and Ian Croad.

>Berkhamsted Bowls Club started the season with a 126-103 victory in a local derby against Potten End.

Top rink was Carole Dunn, Gary Fisher, Brian Smith and Lesley Brown.

On Sunday the club played Cheddington and, after a close fought match, ended up 76-72 winners. This time they had a top rink of Eric Browett, Ray Kessler, Peter Batchelor and Marcia Pearce.

Another milestone at the weekend came for one of Berkhamsted’s junior members, Luke Swan, who was picked to play for Hertfordshire Juniors.

Luke joined the club when they started their junior section a couple of years ago and is now 14. To find out more about the club, please visit www.berkhamstedbowlsclub.co.uk

> Kitcheners continued their winning run with a 107-89 victory over Hazells on Sunday in a six-rink triples match.

Highest rink for Kitcheners was Maggie Moore, Bob Rance and Steve Delderfield.

> Potten End started the season away at Berkhamsted and lost 103-126, despite the efforts of top rink quartet Isabel Knowles, Reg Row, Brian Marshall and Mick Kirkby.

Sunday saw the club entertain Leighton Buzzard at home, where they went down 108-94. They had another highest winning rink in Mick Young, Jean Jones and Tom Jordan.

The club has an open day on Sunday from 11am to 4pm where everyone is welcome to try out the green and have a go at bowls. The event is free and tea and biscuits will be provided.

As the housing market continues its recovery, the National Association of Estate Agents has released statistics about the home extensions most likely to add value to a property ahead of sale.

Research conducted as a part of NAEA’s latest monthly housing market report revealed that almost half (49 per cent) of estate agents say adding an extra bedroom – usually by converting loft space – is the best way of adding value to a property.

While an additional bedroom fundamentally changes the description of a property, other less drastic changes can also have significant, positive effects on value, according to agents.

Over a third (34 per cent) said that enlarging a kitchen was the best way to boost the price of a property.

Beyond these two key changes, opinion was somewhat more divided across the country. Four per cent said that adding a conservatory would add the most value, three per cent suggested adding a garage and a further three per centre commended converting an existing garage into living space.

NAEA president Jan Hytch said: “Extending a home often seems like the first and most obvious solution if there is room to do so, especially if it allows you to boast another bedroom or improve wow-factor against the competition.

“Extensions have the dual benefit of increasing available space within a property, and crucially has the potential to significantly increase value when the time comes to sell.

“Our research shows that bedrooms and kitchens are seen as the most sensible areas for expansion, and this certainly rings true when a property comes on to the market.

“The number of bedrooms is usually the first criteria house hunters select, therefore if it’s possible to add an additional bedroom, there can be an immediate effect on price.

“Remember that securing the necessary consents is an absolute must before any work starts, and any unapproved work can have a significant impact on resale value.

“To get the best advice on selling any home, always seek the expert counsel of an NAEA member agent.”

There was a three-way tie for first place in Division One of the Senior Men’s Stableford at Little Hay Golf Club on Thursday.

After count-back, Michael Clark was awarded first place, Frank Klimaszewski was second and Trevor Sargent finished third. All scored 40 points.

In Division Two, Chris Jarman was the clear winner with 42 points followed by Ralph Lane with 38 and Colin Bussey with 37.

This was the first competition of the year to be held from the white tees rather than the winter mats but the extra distance clearly didn’t deter good scores.

In a friendly match, meanwhile, the senior men’s team beat Shendish at home by 5 wins to 1.

Legendary movie mogul and straight talker Sam Goldwyn reckoned a good movie should start with an earthquake and build to a climax.

Old Sam probably thought that a decent plot, adequate acting and a semblance of good storytelling could be taken as read, but it’s sadly not so.

That’s why Pompeii joins a long list of historical epics which have come a cropper by putting too much faith in eye-catching special effects.

This steaming pile of magma has no real A-list names to haul it over the line, the story is ponderous and we all know there’s a big bang coming. Sadly it doesn’t come soon enough – even though it only runs to just over 100 minutes.

Another familiar scenario gets one more turn around the ring this week – the latest Tarzan is an animation promising all sorts of modern extras and an updating of the classic ‘raised in the jungle’ story.

Plastic is an unpromising title for a ‘based on a true story’ tale about young crooks getting in over their heads and having to fend off a sadistic gangster – another familiar storyline. Rising Brit stars Ed Speleers and Will Poulter are at the centre of the action.

Brick Mansions is chiefly notable as being the last completed project of Fast & Furious franchise car freak Paul Walker, who was killed in a high-speed car smash last year.

He’s an undercover cop pursuing a crime lord armed with a neutron bomb in decaying Detroit, but underneath all that it’s a routine remake of French action classic District 13.

Two first half goals from Nick Jackson helped Kings Langley to a 4-0 win at Amersham Town and ensured that the promotion race between Kings and Bedford will go to the wire when the teams meet on Saturday.

Amersham have also suffered long term injuries and fixture pile-ups and felt they had little option but to park the bus – inviting Kings to find a way round it.

Despite possession and goalmouth incident, there was no end result until Gary Connolly rescued a blocked pass in the 20th minute and played a through-ball to Jackson, enabling him to beat keeper Ashley Smith with a precision shot.

The pattern of resistance then resumed until Kings made the second and vital break 20 minutes later.

Again the skipper was the architect, drifting wide to the left wing before playing Paul Insley in with a diagonal pass for him to lash the ball home.

Within a few minutes Town had been breached again, this time by a more direct route. Liam Tack’s good run to the corner was halted by Callum Adebiyi, who launched a long ball down the middle and Jackson used his experience to lob the advancing keeper for a 3-0 interval scoreline.

Craig Preston and Jonny Munday took the opportunity to come forward and put second half headers narrowly over but, mid-half, Sam Izzard played a first time ball up the touchline to Jackson, who took it to the byeline before crossing low for Insley to convert from close range.

A Town free-kick went narrowly over after 85 minutes, but in truth Steve Bourke hardly had a shot to deal with.

Any thoughts that a result on Saturday might not be required were dispelled by the surprise news that Bedford had emphatically ended Sun Postal’s 25-game unbeaten run four miles down the road with a shock 4-1 scoreline.

So whatever the result at Arlesey tomorrow, it will all be decided on Saturday.

Parliament is back this week after a two week recess. We MPs tend to be a little sensitive about weeks when the House of Commons isn’t sitting – it is all too easy for them to be characterised as ‘holidays’. Admittedly, I got some time with the family over the Easter weekend, but the rest of the time proved to be very busy.

For the pre-Easter weekend, I was the Treasury’s duty minister meaning, among other things, that I was first in line for any media demands. As it happened, a lot of economic statistics were released that week – inflation, unemployment and wages – all of which contained good news.

Broadcasters were keen to cover the story and we certainly wanted to get our case across – yes, it was good news but there is still plenty more to do to get our economy sorted.

Recess also gives MPs a better opportunity to attend constitency events. One I rarely miss is the annual meeting of Berkhamsted Chamber of Commerce.

This was starting at 7.30pm on a Wednesday evening, but Channel 4 News wanted me for a live interview at around 7.20pm. I managed to persuade Channel 4 to send a satellite van to my home and gave the interview before driving to Berkhamsted for the end of the meeting.

The UK is relatively unusual in that ministers are also MPs. It means that there often times when it is necessary to juggle competing demands but the two roles can complement each other.

I would like to think my constituency experience helps inform decisions I make as a minister and that what I learn as a minister helps me be a better MP.

One tax change I have been very heavily involved in is the introduction of the Employment Allowance, which means businesses don’t have to pay the first £2,000 of their Employers’ National Insurance Contributions. Employers need to make sure they benefit from it, which they should do if they have up-to-date payroll software. I mentioned this change to the Chamber of Commerce and was delighted with the positive reaction. “It’s a humdinger of an idea,” said one local employer.

Last week proved to be even busier. I was in the US, meeting businesses in order to promote the UK as a place to do business. We have made a lot of changes to our tax system in order to attract jobs and investment to the UK. But we also need to promote those changes.

On Tuesday, I flew to New York, on Wednesday it was on to Boston, on Thursday it was Chicago and home on Friday night – arriving Saturday morning, giving me time to go campaigning for the European elections in the afternoon!

The nature of the businesses may have been very different from the members of the Berkhamsted Chamber of Commerce but the response was just as enthusiastic and I was delighted at the many indications I received that many US businesses were looking to do more in the UK.

This was my third trip to the US promoting the UK and it would be fair to say that I am there in my capacity as a Treasury minister, rather than as a Hertfordshire MP.

However, the benefits of an improved business environment feed through locally.

A year ago, I met a Californian business considering setting up a data centre in the UK. I hope I played a small role in convincing them that it was the right thing to do, so I was delighted when, a few weeks later, Salesforce located its data centre in Hemel Hempstead.

So no, recesses aren’t holidays!

Snowbility, a provider of snow sports coaching for people with additional needs, has been challenged with breaking a Guinness World record for the greatest distance ever skied indoors in 12 hours.

On May 1 at The Snow Centre in Hemel Hempstead, hundreds of skiers from all walks of life, with all forms of ability, will be taking part in one of the biggest indoor charity ski challenges ever seen.

The aim is to ski at least 3,900 runs in 12 hours to raise as much money as possible for two charities – The Lord’s Taverners and The Snow Sports Foundation.

Richard Fetherston, the founder and development coach of Snowbility, said: “This is an amazing opportunity for anyone who can ski to come and be part of a very exciting event.

“All proceeds raised will be going towards providing children and adults with additional needs, or from disadvantaged backgrounds, sports-based opportunities.

“To get involved on the day, just turn up at The Snow Centre any time between 8am and 8pm. Ski equipment and clothing will be provided free of charge.”

Ever felt like your neighbours let the street down, with rubbish bins left out and uncut lawns? Besides being annoying, it could even affect the resale of your home.

Estate agents Harrison Murray have put together some tips to make sure you don’t suffer as a result of those nagging neighbourly worries.

The firm’s Su Snaith said: “Time and time again we see homeowners who have invested time and money into making their property market-perfect only to be let down by their neighbours.

“Not all neighbours are on first name terms but that doesn’t mean homeowners should avoid approaching them with regards to keeping the street looking nice.”

“When viewings take place, potential buyers want to be able to imagine themselves happy not only in the property but in the area too. Having good neighbours is all part of the package – and it starts with a tidy looking house.”

To make sure your home benefits from a tidy street when it comes to putting your house on the market, here are few tips from Harrison Murray:

Even if you don’t talk to your immediate neighbours often, pop round and let them know you’re putting your house on the market. It’s courteous to let people know that there will be potential buyers viewing the property: there may be the occasional extra car parked outside and people looking at the surrounding area.

If you’ve noticed that bins are left out a long time or are always in plain view, politely ask them to put them away. Perhaps offer to pop their bin back in place when you do yours.

Tackle the issue of shared land. Perhaps you live in a cul-de-sac with a shared driveway or lawn area. Look at the paperwork you have on your property to see who is responsible for these areas.

Is the council responsible for maintaining the appearance of hedges and other areas in your neighbourhood? Give them a call to find out when they will be tidying up the local area and if needs be, give them a hint about areas that may need a little upkeep now.

Be prepared for potential buyers to ask about the relationship you have with your neighbours.

Your estate agent will be obliged to tell potential buyers about historical disputes due to Consumer Protection Regulations.

Make sure you have addressed any problems with noise, untidiness or inconsiderate behaviour well in advance of putting your house on the market.

That way you can remain transparent with potential buyers and state previous disputes, but also say the relationship with your neighbours has improved.

All-in-all fostering a good relationship with your neighbours is done over time. So when you move into your new home, be sure to introduce yourself to the families living next door – then from day one you’re off to a good start.

Dacorum & Tring AC runner Kirsty Russell was back in action at the weekend as part of a 30-strong team that took part in the Shakespeare Full and Half Marathon in Stratford-upon-Avon.

As part of the Running for Noah fundraising drive, the £5,000 raised by the team contributed to a total of £80,000 needed to send four-year old Noah – who has cerebral palsy – to America for a life-changing operation that could help him to walk.

Kirsty finished the half marathon in 2:10:55, only two weeks after completing the Virgin London Marathon.

The race was an unscheduled event in her Five Races in Five Months challenge – a personal goal she’s taken on to raise money for Sands, a stillbirth and neonatal death charity that provides support for bereaved parents. The final leg of her challenge will be the BUPA London 10,000 next month.

Elsewhere, club member Michelle Ashwell ran in the Thames Towpath 10 mile run, finishing in a new personal best time of 1:32:08.

There was penalty shoot-out heartbreak for Berkhamsted as they were beaten by Ampthill Town in the Dudley Latham Memorial Premier Division Cup final.

An exciting game had finished 2-2 after extra-time, but it was Ampthill who held their nerve to win the shoot-out 5-4 and lift the cup.

Berko were at full strength for the clash at Tring Athletic’s Grass Roots Stadium, apart from the suspended Jordon Frederick.

The Comrades were first to think that they had scored when Ampthill keeper Martin Conway appeared to pull a ball back into play from over the goal line in the early stages.

However, it was Ampthill who took the lead in the 12th minute when a weak header landed at the feet of the unmarked Tyrone Taylor, who lashed the ball into the net.

Conway kept out a header and a shot from Josh Chamberlain after good work by Connor Calcutt on the left wing, before Chris Crook got a yellow card for a bad foul on Chamberlain.

Ampthill looked the more dangerous side in the first half playing down the hill, however the second half was dominated by Berko.

Mick Vipond’s side had their tails up after Chamberlain equalised with a fine shot when Jamie Gavin flicked a Calcutt ball into his path on the left in the 56th minute.

Chamberlain again got the ball in the net but it was disallowed for offside in the build-up that again featured Calcutt.

Chamberlain then set up Calcutt in a reversal of roles after some fine trickery on the left, but the shot went over.

James Towell came on for Frankie Jowle and his running with the ball added to the pressure on Ampthill.

Calcutt beat two men from a Dan Griggs cross but Berko could not get in front, and Ed Canham came forward but was booked for a needless challenge on the keeper.

Ampthill brought on substitute Warren Garcia and his 25-yard drive flew just beyond the post, while Alvin Rajaram was booked for another bad foul on Chamberlain and Steve Hawes also picked up a yellow card.

The teams were soon reduced to 10-a-side when Michael Lyon kicked out at the grounded Hawes, who got up in a threatening manner, so both went to the stand for violent conduct just before the game headed for extra-time.

Another long range effort from Garcia went over the bar as Ampthill got their second wind, before a disastrous collision between two Berko defenders allowed the ball to fall to Phil Draycott who again put Ampthill in front.

However, it was not long before Calcutt converted a Towell cross to equalise and put the game back in the balance.

There was controversy when Conway stayed on the pitch after stamping on a Berko player, so the keeper was able to play his part on the penalty shoot-out – even scoring from their first kick.

Griggs, Jamie Gavin, Towell and Calcutt all converted their penalties for Berko but Conway pulled off two fine saves to keep out efforts from Ashley Morrisey and Adiel Mannion.

Carl Tasker saved Draycott’s spot kick, but all the others went in and Ampthill landed the cup 5-4 on penalties.

On Saturday Berko play their 63rd and last game of the season at home to AFC Dunstable in the SSML Premier Division, 3pm k/o.

The penalty blues also struck Berko’s youth team 24 hours earlier when Colney Heath got through to the final of the Brian Hitchings Cup.

Jay Caines was brought down for a penalty which Jacob Noonan converted to give Berko the lead.

However, when an injury temporarily took Berko down to 10 men, Colney Heath equalised from a corner.

All the penalties were on target, but the visitors’ keeper Matthew Fallon saved two, to allow Heath to proceed to the final with a 4-2 win.

Gloucestershire All Golds coach Brad Hepi will be hoping for a change of fortune in Sunday’s Kingstone Press Championship One match against Hemel Stags.

The All Golds started with two wins from their first three league fixtures, but haven’t won since the end of March when they beat Gateshead Thunder.

And Hemel have been dealt a major blow with the news that Mitchell Barbara faces an extended spell on the sidelines after breaking his ankle against London Skolars.

Barbara is out for a minimum of three months and could miss the rest of the season.

Stags coach Troy Perkins said: “It’s a blow, but Ben Young will slot into where Mitchell was.

“We beat ourselves against London, and we want to put that right this week.”

Hemel duo Ciaren Clement-Pascal (shoulder) and Ben Thorburn (knee) are also ruled out for a match Perkins expects to be extremely challenging.

Perkins said: “I’m expecting a really tough game. Last year they were a decent team, and this year they’ve improved. They’ve brought in some more experienced players that get them around the field a bit better, and they’ve also got a bigger pack than last year.

Arlesey Town chairman Manny Cohen says the club is ready to kick on next season after a successful rebuilding of the team by manager Rufus Brevett.

Arlesey finished in 15th place in the Calor League Southern Premier Division, safely negotiating the season after losing their management team and a number of players halfway through the campaign.

Brevett came in and steadied the ship, and Cohen says the club is now building towards a bright future.

“All credit to Rufus and everyone who chipped in and kept everything alive,” said Cohen. “Everyone worked together.

“It’s interesting to see how everyone comes together and helps when your backs are against the wall.

“We had a difficult season but finished 15th which, considering the change of management, is fairly good.”

Cohen said Arlesey received more than 20 applications for the vacant manager’s job – including one from Portugal and one from Sweden – but felt that Brevett was the man to lead the club forward.

“Rufus is really keen on building from the bottom up,” said Cohen. “He believes that players should be Arlesey from when they come through as youngsters.

“We are working on a whole redevelopment of the club – we’re looking to build the youth more as well as building up the ladies’ and disability sides.

“We are really looking forward to next season and Rufus has plenty of fresh ideas.”

Looking further forward, Cohen believes that there is no reason why the club can not aim to climb the leagues.

He said: “A lot of clubs say that they are happy to be where they are because there are a lot of things to worry about if you go up.

“But we are the opinion that we should just try to get up and worry about it when we have to!

“Our committee ranges from mid-20s to early 80s and everyone is hoping to move up and see exciting football.

“In reality it takes a couple of seasons to consolidate your team after a lot of changes, but hopefully there will be a lot of players who want to play for Rufus because of his reputation from playing in the Premier League.

“We are looking to get bigger as a club and we are looking forward to building towards a community-orientated future.”

Flamstead Cricket Club have begun their 140th season of cricket in style – with the honour of playing the first game falling to the club’s U11 girls’ team.

It is the first time in the club’s history that there has been a girls’ team at Flamstead and chairman Nic Brownlie believes it will be the first of many:

“We have a great history of involving girls in our club – current first team player Helen Gibson is a county women’s representative at just 17 years of age – but this is the first time we have worked to develop a squad of girls to compete in a girls’ league. The response has been fantastic.”

Flamstead’s U11s are playing in the Hertfordshire Junior League this summer and began their campaign against a seasoned Harpenden team at St George’s School.

Despite the challenge of playing against more experienced players, every member of the Flamstead team scored their first runs for the club and the honour of taking the first wicket fell to Charlotte Bennett.

Club president, Harry Birtley, who has been involved in cricket at Flamstead for more than 50 years, was on hand to congratulate the newest recruits to Flamstead’s cricketing ranks.

The club, who obtained ECB Clubmark status at the end of last summer, would love to hear from anyone – male or female – looking for a team to join this year. Contact can be made via the club’s website at www.flamstead-cc.co.uk.

> Pictured from left to right: Charlotte Bennett, Milly Mortimer, Amy Baxter, Carys Britten, Kate Downie, Yazzy Mercer, Eleanor Heseltine and Xanthe Byrne - with club President, Harry Birtley.

With only one game of the season remaining, Berkhamsted sit in fifth place in the SSML Premier Division – just one point behind St Margaretsbury.

After an eventful season in which Berko have challenged for promotion, reached two cup semi-finals and one final, Dave Hornby takes a look back at some of the key stats and facts from the 2013/14 SSML season.

> PERFORMANCE

Overall

61% - Percentage of League games won (5th highest in League)

12.5% - Percentage of League games lost (5th lowest in League)

2.66 - Average goals scored per game (3rd highest in League)

1.39 - Average goals conceded per game (5th lowest in League)

1.98 - Average points per game (5th highest in League)

66% - Percentage of available points collected (5th highest in League)

At Broadwater

75% - Percentage of League games won (3rd highest in League)

20% - Percentage of League games lost (5th lowest in League)

2.90- Average goals scored per game (3rd highest in League)

1.15 - Average goals conceded per game (5th lowest in League)

2.30 - Average points per game (3rd highest in League)

77% - Percentage of available points collected (3rd highest in League)

On The Road

47.6% - Percentage of League games won (6th highest in League)

28.6% - Percentage of League games lost (5th lowest in League)

2.43 - Average goals scored per game (4th highest in League)

1.62 - Average goals conceded per game (8th lowest in League)

1.67 - Average points per game (6th highest in League)

56% - Percentage of available points collected (6th highest in League)

> STREAKS

6 - Longest win sequence (Tue 13th Aug to Tue 17th Sep)

2 - Longest losing sequence (Sat 19th Apr to present)

9 - Longest unbeaten sequence (Tue 13th Aug to Sat 5th Oct)

3 - Longest winless streak (Tue 25th Feb to Sat 8th Mar, Sat 22th Mar to Sat 29th Mar, Tue 15th Apr to present)

24 - Longest scoring streak (Tue 13th Aug to Sat 18th Jan)

1 - Longest fail to score streak (Sat 10th Aug, Tue 21st Jan, Tue 25th Feb, Sat 8th Mar, Sat 22nd Mar, Tue 22nd Apr)

11-0 - Biggest win (Hatfield Town Sat 12th Apr)

3-0 - Biggest defeat (Hanwell Town Sat 10th Aug, Colney Heath Sat 8th Mar, Hillingdon Borough Sat 22nd Mar, Holmer Green Tue 22 Apr)

11 - Most goals in a game (Hatfield Town Sat 12th Apr)

7 - Games won by 1 goal

9 - Games won by 2 goals

1 - Games won by 3 goals

4 - Games won by 4 goals

4 - Games won by 5+ goals

> ATTENDANCE

58 - Lowest attendance at Broadwater (1st highest in League)

248 - Highest attendance at Broadwater (2nd highest in League)

96 - Average attendance at Broadwater (2nd highest in League)

965 - Total miles travelled to and from away games

46 - Furthest distance travelled (Biggleswade United, Sat 7th Dec)

4.6 - Shortest distance travelled (Tring Athletic, Sat 19th Apr)

> PLAYERS

31 - Total players used in League

39 - Most League appearances (Tasker)

39 - Most League starts (Tasker)

18 - Most substitute appearances in League (Morrissey)

18 - Total players scored in League

22 - Most League goals (Calcutt, Chamberlain)

18 - Most League games scored in (Calcutt)

4 - Most League braces (Calcutt)

3 - Most League hat-tricks (Chamberlain)

4 - Most goals in a League match (Canham)

The last thing Kings Langley needed was a trip to Arlesey Town Reserves to replay a previously abandoned fixture on a damp Thursday night.

The game came just two days after Kings defeated Amersham and two days prior to their promotion decider against Bedford.

Add to this the fact that Arlesey started with only two of the players that had trailed 3-0 to Kings with 20 minutes left before fog extinguished the previous encounter, and fought as if their lives depended on it, and the Langley side had a battle on their hands.

Kings needed a point to edge into second place, level on points with Bedford, but with vastly superior goal difference.

Alex Campana was through after 10 minutes but keeper Josh Mason, who was in superb form all night, timed his block well on the edge of the area.

Although the visitors played some serious one touch football to fashion a series of chances, the nearest they came was a Connor Toomey header which was well held.

Kings’ problems increased when Callum Adebiyi took a knock just before the break and played no further part in the game.

As the second half wore on, it was apparent that a well drilled home defence would not be broken down easily.

Kings had far the better of midfield, but when first Lee Burgoyne and then Danny Hutchins delivered shots that were too hot for Mason to handle, nobody was on hand to follow up.

The home side exerted some real pressure as the game progressed and Ant Ladyman had to be on top form to repel them.

Sam Izzard made probably the tackle of the season when they did break through, emerging with the ball and delivering a telling pass, but when Campana was denied again by Mason in a one-on-one situation and Luke Ladyman put a chance over, Kings had to settle for the draw and focus on tomorrow’s day of destiny.

Dacorum & Tring AC athlete Laurette Wenborn came away with a gold medal in the Hertfordshire Schools U15 girls’ multi-events competition.

Laurette, a pupil at Kings Langley School, finished almost 450 points ahead of her nearest rival, in a competition with 52 competitors.

Notably, she accumulated a new personal best total of 2,619 points, posting PBs of 12.4 seconds in the 75m hurdles and 8.06m in the shot put along the way.

She also came very close to her PBs in the high jump, long jump and the 800 metres.

In the U17 girls’ multi-events, Dacorum & Tring athlete Amber Carroll won the silver medal – posting 12.7s in the 80m hurdles, 4.19m in the long jump, 27.8s for 200 metres, 18.45 metres for javelin and 2.47.8s for the 800 metres.

Both girls, who are ably coached by Chris Styles at Dacorum & Tring, are due to be selected for the Hertfordshire county multi events squad, with the regional round of competition taking place at Lee Valley on June 29.

Before 12 YEARS A SLAVE (15: Entertainment One) came along there were precious few films about slavery in the US told from the point of view of the enslaved.

I can only think of the milestone 1970s mini-series Roots, Quentin Tarantino’s revenge fantasy Django Unchained and a handful of others.

So director Steve McQueen’s Oscar-winning adaptation of Solomon Northup’s memoir is essential viewing for correcting that imbalance.

It’s also a tremendously powerful piece of film-making – a tale of suffering, endurance, courage and humanity about a man kidnapped and sold into slavery.

The scenes where characters are brutalised and tortured are shocking in the extreme and the film packs all the more wallop for the elegance with which it’s made.

But McQueen tempers that horror with a display of directorial craft so that the most emotional moments, like the long-held close-up of Northup singing, are delivered with maximum force.

Chiwetel Ejiofor’s fine lead performance fully deserves all the praise that’s been heaped upon it and the supports, especially Lupita Nyong’o and Michael Fassbender, are no less impressive.

> 47 RONIN (12: Universal) is a handsomely staged action blockbuster blending Japanese myth with Hollywood-style CGI beasties.

Keanu Reeves stars as Kai, an outcast foundling who finds himself fronting a small band of masterless samurai called ronin.

They were betrayed by a ruthless warlord and banished from their homeland, but they receive fresh hope in the shape of this mysterious former slave, who leads them into battle against monstrous and magical enemies as they seek to reclaim their status.

The movie both benefits and suffers from its splendidly all-Japanese support cast. They look great, but are obliged to speak in English, so subtitles might have been employed.

Although things tend to flag around the action and the film lacks the sense of fighting overwhelming odds that, say, The Seven Samurai had, it’s a decent effort and quite moving in its final moments.

> While it will resonate more if you’re familiar with the original TV show, as most of the characters and actors reappear, there’s enough charm, wit and mystery to make VERONICA MARS (12: Warner) worth watching.

The US series starring Kristen Bell as small-town student sleuth Veronica ran for three seasons between 2004 and 2007. Then last year Bell and series creator Rob Thomas launched an online appeal and thanks to loyal fans were able to raise nearly $6million to make the feature.

All that love and lolly is warranted as the film is a class act, with Bell back as the former teen private eye, now in her 20s and working as a lawyer in New York.

She’s compelled to return to her Californian home town of Neptune when an ex-boyfriend is charged with murder.

> We all love a terrible movie – and THE CANYONS (18: Sony) is an absolute stinker.

This erotic thriller, directed by the once-great Paul Schrader, features James Deen, who learns of a secret affair between his former actress girlfriend (Lindsay Lohan) and the lead in his film project. He spirals out of control and his cruel mind games escalate into violence.